I was roasted for "Most Likely to Start a Blog, Get Everyone Addicted, and Stop Posting".
I've been pressured into a final post. Just for old time's sake. While I appreciate the attention, I'm always baffled when people want to read what I have to say. It's weird. I don't know. I've never been a good judge of outward perception, nor have I ever harbored a large amount of consideration for it.
I can honestly say that this will be the last post on this blog. No more. This blog has officially become irrelevant to the rest of my life. It is the past. I'm sure I'll look back on it when I feel sentimental, but otherwise, it is just another metaphorical item to add to the scrapbook of my life's documentation.
But this blog isn't the only aspect of my life receiving the treatment of irrelevancy. Over the past few months, I've realized that practically everything I've done over the past four years no longer matters. No grade, no extracurricular, no petty clique, no junior high awkwardness, no standardized test score or essay--none of it counts now. I understand that, and I am utterly relieved. I am so happy to be starting with a completely clean slate, and moving forward, beyond the triviality of everything.
Before I bid this blog adieu, I'll leave the readers with a bit of advice. I started this blog for myself, but it's of no further use to me, so I leave it to you. The underclassmen and the people who will be in the same position as the one I am currently in. Feel free to skim, ignore, pass on, do with it as you please. It really doesn't matter to me.
- Don't feed the trolls. If you sense drama, try not to get involved. There are causes worth fighting for, and then there are some that are not. Most are not. I can't begin to express to you how petty the majority of high school drama is. Fight meaningful fights, and think about what you can obtain from stirring the pot before you stir it.
- Think about people as people, not a collective. I'm particularly guilty of this. When people are viewed as a collective, they lose their individuality, and are held to a different standard. This is why people "hate" Friendswood, or a certain clique, or a certain race, or sexual orientation, or any social grouping feasible to the mind. Get to know people, don't observe their group from a distance. I really wish I had done this more in high school. It's certainly a goal of mine for the future.
- What people say about you--it doesn't matter. Coming to terms with this improved my personal sanity tremendously. Who cares if someone with closeted self-esteem issues spreads a lie that you're lesbian, or a whore, or a geeky introverted nerd, or an obsessive freak, or fat, or ugly, or that you have family issues, or that you hang with a certain "crowd"? It doesn't matter. As long as you are pleased with who you are, it is not important how people perceive you. And most of the time, you won't be able to correctly tell how other people think of you. Just get over it, and live for you, not for others. You'll make actual friends, not false images of friends that way.
- There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship in high school. But don't seek it out. No one should need to settle just so that they can get romantic attention. Set your goals, follow them, don't lose track of them. And if you click with someone along the way, so be it. But being in a romantic relationship should never be a goal. Oh, and NEVER CHANGE YOUR GOALS AND ASPIRATIONS FOR A PERSON.
- Be an individual. Express yourself. Don't worry about starting or following trends. Because here's the deal with trends: no one derives anything from them. They benefit no one. I'm not saying you should intentionally defy them, or go through extra measures just to be different, but try not to be a clone of everyone else. You want to be remembered for being you, not for being just another sheep.
- Decide whether knowledge or innocence is more important to you. I wish I chose innocence, but I chose knowledge. Knowledge is going to be harder. It will be more emotionally taxing. It isn't fun. But I feel more of a person, and less of a caricature because of it. Knowing some things about the world has ruined me. I am so much more coarse because I chose to not be ignorant. I'm going to recommend ignorance to you, because I wish I could be. It is so much easier to push your questions aside and go with what you're told. I would be so much happier if I hadn't read some of the things I've read or researched the things I've researched. I would elaborate further, but I don't want you to be like me. I would never ask someone to believe what I now believe, or go through the events that caused me to be where I am. If you're sane, keep yourself innocent.
- If you're masochistic and knowledge is the path for you, embrace it and don't limit yourself to a single culture. There is a world outside of small town America. Some people think that humans innately follow the same habits, from the beginning of time to every point forward. That may or may not be true, but find out for yourself. Look at schools in other states or countries. Study other cultures. Venture outside your friend group. The suburbs are nice and safe, but they don't represent the actual world well. Break the bubble.
Fare thee well.
